Like Fire Under The Ice
by Major Gu
Summary: How do you heal people when no one has ever cared about you? How do you encourage their smiles when no one has ever been there to see yours? How do you give your trust to someone when you can't even trust yourself ? How do you live when you have the feeling your life has never begun? How do you love without never being loved in return? How do you breath without air? I never knew
1. Chapter 1, Victor

Hi and Welcome !  
As you probably understood it, this story will take place in an Alternative Universe from the original Yuri On Ice serial. It could seems drasticaly different for the moment but I assure you the main characteristics of the characters will be preserved.  
This is my first story plus, English isn't my native langage so thanks to be indulgent.  
A huge thanks too to the people that helped me to build it  
▶ **Andi** (Tumblr : miraculous-katsukii ) to be there at the very beginning,

▶ **SomeStoryWriter** (FanFiction) to always support me

▶ **SailorChibiMidnight** (A3O  & FanFiction) to perfect my work so well ღ

Don't forget to give me your impressions and feedbacks, it will help me to improve myself for the next chapters  
See you soon for Chapter 2!  
Sweets and Love, **Major Gü**

\- Chapter 1. Victor -

 **2020, November 5**

I was exhausted. Since the beginning of the school year, studies had intensified, and I hadn't been able to take a break. The days passed too fast to keep track of, and I found both my professional and personal life slipping out of control, but I knew that I needed to keep going. I had to become a doctor, and I had to get used to the insanity, even though all I wanted to do was skate. Medicine is my highest priority , I thought, trying to motivate myself, but I couldn't help feeling jaded.

As I climbed the stairs to my apartment, I texted Yakov, "Sry, can't come tonight or tomorrow. Wait 4 me WE. Will keep in touch. Bye". I sent it and, as usual, he didn't reply - too busy or too lazy. I sent another: "P.S: Don't drink all bottles like a good bartender ."

I felt a little guilty for not supporting him as consistently as he did with me, but he understood the situation and said that it was fine. Ever since I had moved to Paris, he had been one of the first people I met, and the only person I could trust. I was grateful for the opportunity he was giving me and I didn't want to disappoint him.

At that moment, Yakov was in charge of an ice center in the suburbs of the capital city that he'd inherited from his family. At first, the skating rink was run-down but cheap, and he worked hard to restore it. He renovated the whole thing, inside and out, turning it into one of the most popular in the city. Since then, he added a food court (where I worked most of the time) and organized competitions and skating lessons. In exchange for help, he allowed me to practice whenever I wanted, and gave me a small salary.

I was thankful for that and, despite my state, I couldn't hold in a silent smile. Thanks old man, from the bottom of my heart .

Having arrived at the 4th floor, I walked to the threshold of the sea-green door and unlocked it. Surprisingly, lights were turn off and it seemed that I was alone. It was already dark outside and Yuuri generally came home before me after work. Something seemed odd, but since he was only my roommate, he didn't owe me any explanations.

I sighed and fell over the sofa in the living-room, taking off my coat. It was my turn to make dinner this evening. I dragged my feet to the kitchen and began to cook. I let my thoughts wander and soon I broke the last egg in the frying pan. Tonight we will eat omelette I guess…

It was already 8p.m when I tried to call Yuuri to find out if he was going to eat with me, but he never answered his phone. Damn those people who never pick up their phones.

An hour had passed by the time I finished doing the dishes and cleaning the apartment. I was so hungry and tired, I just wanted to get it over with and go to sleep. I was a bit mad he hadn't told me anything and finally I ate alone. He had been quite distant for a few days, and we hadn't been seeing each other a lot.

I didn't say a word about the fact that we had dinner apart last night too, but to tell the truth, I was a bit upset he hadn't even touched the food I also made for him at that time. The meal was still wrapped in the refrigerator, untouched. Had I done or said something? Had he just planned to leave this place for good or what?!

This thought had suddenly made me very angry. I didn't have time to waste, waiting for a sign from him. We weren't children anymore, so if he had to, he would definitely come to speak to me properly.

I went straight to bed, not wanting to see him after all, but ended up just tossing and turning all night.

It was close to One a.m when something pulled me out of sleep. I heard something but I couldn't say what. I got off my mezzanine bed and reached the living-room. I expected to see him drunk or something like that but no one was here. A burglar? No stupid, not on the 4th floor.

I was on my guard, paying attention, trying to hear the noise again. It was coming from Yuuri's room. Almost silent, but too regular to be a puff of wind. More like a pant.

My first thought was that he had brought a girl home and was doing 'things' with her. I was totally furious. Did he believe me so naive? When he became my room-mate, we both agreed to never have intimate relationships in this apartment out of respect for the other. I didn't want to rebuke him now but actually, I just wanted to make them stop those awful noises.

To hell with social conventions! I just kicked the door as hard as I could before shouting at him to stop otherwise I would come in.

For a few seconds, I didn't hear any sound. Had I shouted loud enough to deafen myself or did it really stop? But then I heard it again, as regular and whistling as before. May be Yuuri had never come back and the noise was made by the plumbing, or something else? Either way, I should go in. Just in case, I mentally prepared myself, mentally rehearsing a sarcastic "Hi" - but I couldn't continue, completely shocked at the scene in front of me;

Yuuri was lying on the back, eyes closed, breathless. Suffocating and coughing at the same time. In the shadow of the little window, I couldn't see well but was able to make out how deathly pale he was and how his mouth was turning blue, he was clutching the sheets in his closed fists so hard that his knuckles whitened.

I ran to him, kneeling next to the bed. "Yuuri can you hear me? Can you try to shake my hand if yes?" I was ordering him more than just questioning, I knew he wasn't conscious and couldn't speak so I put my hand on his but he didn't shake it off.

I grabbed my phone in the pocket of my pajamas' pants and dialed 15 for an ambulance. The few seconds of waiting sounded like years. "Yuuri, hold on, I'm here now!" I said, mostly for myself than for him, trying at the same time to help him to breath.

I had never been in such a serious situation but I attended to Yuuri, trying to calm myself down. I inspected him, and was glad that when the switchboard operator would pick up, I would know what information to give them.

As soon as I heard the bell tone indicating that the operator had picked up, a female voice saluted me, but I didn't bother and answered immediately; "My name is Victor Nikiforov, I am calling for a 22 year-old man… he's completely unconscious". I took a pause, giving her time to take notes and contact the ambulance 'the ambulance that would take him to the hospital, and for the next couple seconds, I took care to be completely silent, not because I didn't want to disturb her, but to take Yuuri's constants.

"No external injury. Regular tachycardia at 190, no, 200 beats/min! Plan an oxygen gas bottle with an SAT of 60%, and a saline solution drip, in addition to a glucos-" I spoke continually without noticing until she interrupted me, saying that emergency physicians will be there soon and that they will do their job great. She seemed young but she spoke with a gentle and serene voice, doing her job well, trying to calm me down. But I couldn't.

The only thing I could do was to agree, begging her to hurry the ambulance to our place and to stay online. I was speaking like I was crazy, my voice cracking at every new word, squeezing Yuuri in my arms, but at every 'breath', he was dying a little bit more. Every second, I was losing him more… Think! Think! There must be something I can do now, don't panic!

Suddenly, I dropped the phone on the floor, freeing Yuuri from my hug. I ran into my room, searching for my medical bag and bringing it back. It wasn't really the best help but at this moment, it was the only available equipment I had. I came back into Yuuri's room and almost had a heart attack when I saw him slipping from his bed. At the same time, I heard the woman's voice rose, almost yelling as she tried to get my attention, but it was fruitless, since I was more focused on Yuuri. Enough please, stop driving me crazy both of you! Jeeeeeez!

I had to act quickly and I didn't really have a choice. Don't back away now, you must do it!

I held him on his back with my arm on this torso. "Sorry Yuuri" I apologised in a whisper, not even sure of what I was doing. Suddenly, I stabbed him on his left side with an empty 150ml syringe. He shudder for an instant, not conscious enough to try to move, and too breathless to scream out loud.

When the shock had passed and I was sure he would not break the needle with spasms, I softly pulled the plunger of the syringe, draining some pale liquid from his abdomen. He moaned at first, but after having removed the equipment, it seemed that he were able to take a deeper breath.

I stood on my knees for a second, catching my breath again. 'Please, please, make it stops!'

I didn't know how much time had passed and I didn't know what really happened next either. My mind was elsewhere, miles and miles away from here.

When the ambulance appeared, I was already dressed but I didn't know how. Then, two strong men came to our place, taking Yuuri on a stretcher to the vehicle. I followed them without a word, climbing and sitting down in the ambulance. They gave Yuuri an oxygen mask as I had recommended on the phone. My body was still there in the ambulance, but my mind wasn't. I was far away, seeing without watching, and hearing without listening. I had never had any faith in religion, but at this moment I had never been closer to a straight pray; silently wishing for Yuuri's good health all the way long.

Before I realize it, we were at the hospital. They took Yuuri and quickly lead him to the emergency room. From that point on, I had no right to follow him and I felt lost. It must have been written on my face because before I knew it, the ambulance's driver guided me to the registration office gently. Usually, I was the one who received the patients in the emergency room, but there I was, a simple civilian, only able to sit and wait. Powerless.

I had been slumped in an old, dirty chair for the last three hours, anxious but still drifting in and out of sleep, exhausted by the tension. It was already late at night when someone called my name at the reception. I stood up immediately, forcing my brain to waking up and walked through the hallway. There, the nurse lead me to Yuuri's bed, fitted in one of the care boxes and I thanked her so she left me.

Standing near the door, lights turned off, I froze for a second. I'd been studying medicine for more than four years now; I've learned about so many awful diseases and have frequented hospital for few years, but at the end, it was always painful to see any relative being hurt.

Yuuri was sleeping in some white and green pale sheets, breathing through an oxygen tube placed at the base of his nose and passing on both sides on his face, while a drip was attached to his wrist. His cheeks were pale pink; he looked febrile, and his closed eyes were hollowed due to pure exhaustion. But after all, he seemed finally quiet, making a small noise every time his chest rose. A nice one to me. It calmed me down and I found the strength to come closer, taking a seat close to the monitoring machines, which were running silently.

The pleural effusion from which he suffered from wasn't a deadly disease if treated early, but it was still serious. I pulled the blanket down to his stomach and took a look. Near his last rib, where I previously stabbed him with my syringe, was another trace of stinging, bigger and covered by some disinfectant patches. I let my fingertips wander over his belly. His skin was a bit swollen and warm, so warm that I had to pull back my hands quickly or my cold hands would wake Yuuri up. It didn't matter. In a way, I was already satisfied. Doctors were quick and did a good job. I wrapped him with the sheets and put everything back. I let myself start thinking, relaxing my head which was now dizzy.

Now that fluids had been removed, his lungs will stop being compressed and he will be able to breathe easier. Being patient was the second and the worst part of the care, for me at least. 'Wait' . Wait again, wait more. Wait and see how things pan out while we couldn't be sure he wasn't out of danger.

In fact, there were actually two options;

The best one was that fluids were 'stuck' in the sub-abdominal cavity due to an inflammation in the internal organs, most likely caused by a virus or an internal trauma.

While the worst one was most commonly due to an organ failure breaking the natural homeostasis of the body. This option was more admitted like a symptom of a much bigger disease, making it seem like a drop in a sea, like a tree in front of a huge forest… Like the calm before the storm.

I sighed, overthinking on possibilities will not wreak the natural order, and torturing my mind wasn't helping either.I hated to admit it, but without a biological analysis to establish a diagnostic, I - like every other doctor on Earth - was useless.

I don't know how much time had elapsed, but soon the first rays of sun appeared by the little window behind me, wrapping both of us in it's soft citrus light.

I was down in the dumps, but I felt a bit better when I looked at Yuuri. Neither pain nor suffering was written on his face. He was deeply asleep, his lips slightly pressed in a cute pouting face. He seemed at peace. I didn't know if it was because of the exhaustion of the disease, or because of the painkiller, but I didn't care. I had hope.

I was thinking that I should leave him soon, returning home to sleep a bit and take a hot shower before work. Damn, why did consultations have to start so early?! That was the plan I made, but my eyes were so itchy and my head grew too heavy. I didn't want to move. I closed my eyes for a couple more seconds, searching deeply for some strength for my day, but I never stood up.


	2. Chapter 2, Yuuri

_I couldn't say anything, but the main reason as to why I was speechless, was his silver hair, perfectly contouring the milky skin of his face and his magnificent icy-colored eyes. All of this features captivated me and I couldn't look away. At the same time, he was looking at me, like he was analyzing every piece of me as precisely as he could with his harsh, sharp gaze. I felt naked, and my cheeks started to blush._

 _It was the first time I saw Victor, but he was already able to wreck all my defenses._

* * *

Hi! I'm a bit late but studies have been a pain!

Enjoy and see you soon in the next chapter,

Major Gü

\- Chapter 2. Yuuri -

 **2020, November 6**

Every breath was painful. I could barely move my chest, almost as if an elephant was sitting on it. I was so tired that I couldn't open my eyes. Too weak, but at least I was conscious, and I was thankful for that.

I was a bit stunned. All I could feel was my head, heavy, deeply pushed into a pillow. I couldn't remember anything; my memory loss seemed to go back a few days too, but it didn't really matter. I wasn't fighting for life anymore. I was lying on a bed, in a light warm room, and I felt secure. Everything else could wait.

I had been spacing out for some time, stuck somewhere between dream and reality. Slowly, I was diving back into sleep when something brushed my hand, and with all the energy I had, I tried to reach it with my fingertips. That was hair. Soft and thin hair. I couldn't see it or smell it, but I was sure it belonged to him. Victor. He was there too, he must've stayed with me for the night. I could feel his warmth due to his proximity, and it appeased me. _'Victor'_. I couldn't say his name for real, but in my mind, I thanked him to being here with me while I was so vulnerable.

From the beginning, meeting Victor was one of the best thing I could ever wish, even if it wasn't always simple to manage our relationship. I felt myself fall into this memory and started living through that day of late July once again.

 **2020, July 24**

I was in one of the first trains to Paris. It wasn't dawn, but the sun seemed lazy this morning to warm up the earth. Actually, it didn't bother me. On the contrary, the persistent dew on the window and outside was pleasant and refreshing. Today, I was supposed to visit one of the last apartments of the capital city that I could barely rent with the little money I had. A last chance that I had to seize, no matter what.

For most of the travel, I looked at the landscape. I lost count of how many green forests and golden fields I had passed through. So many quiet places I'd never been to and that I would be glad to visit. So many things I needed to know. Of course, I was a bit homesick; leaving the small town where I was raised was difficult but I had to do it. Ever since I had been a child, I had never left this perched Alpine city between lakes and mountains. A place where my family had moved to from Hasetsu, Japan to own a hot springs and inn for many years.

It was a simple life, not expensive, and if I were to choose the easiest way, _I_ would stay to help them forever. But it wasn't me. I didn't expect a brighter life or a bigger one. I just wanted to discover things by myself; to make my mark, to find my place.

Of course, my hometown was totally different from what Paris could be like, but I couldn't live in such a withdrawn city anymore. Although people were always kind with me, welcoming the same faces, and hearing all the same stories every day bored me; each day seemed to pass as the previous one did. Boring. Dull. Useless. Dull. Useless.

I became determined to go to the capital and live my own life as an independent adult, learning from my own experiences and through contact with new people. I was excited, anxious though, but I wiped this feeling from my mind. _'Think positive'_ I repeated to myself, _'Nothing bad will happen'_.

As I hoped, the rest of the travel passed fast and without difficulties. I was enthusiastic. The Clock Tower of the _'Paris - Gare de Lyon'_ train station had barely rung 10.15 a.m. when I put a foot on the ground. It was the first time I was seeing it and I couldn't help but feel impressed. It was huge! From where I was, I could see more than twenty railway lines, most of which were occupied by trains, and on the right, what I could only guess was a junction to another train area. People converged from every direction, but despite this swarm, I stopped in the hall, completely stunned by the architecture. The hall's structure was made in a mix of oxidized copper columns and arches, and on the top, a glass ceiling. Beautiful. I could feel myself grow minuscule by comparison with this amazing building, but it only pushed me to keep going. I definitely wanted to seize every wonder that life could give me.

The air was now warm, and full of this newfound self-confidence, I exited the station, carried away by the crowd to the closest subway. At that time, I remember that I wasn't used to this overexcited life style, people always in a rush compared to my parent's town. Happily, the tube was quite empty in the summer holidays and I could feel comfortable. Halfway through my journey, I had to stop and change subways. Fortunately, I only dragged a small suitcase behind me. For as long as I could remember, I have only on rare occasions toured the capital city. Most of the time it was during school trips, stuck in some museum or on the way for some trip abroad.

And even then, I wasn't there for long. As soon as the viewing would be finished, I could roam through the city or rest at some coffee shop and then, take a train back.

I traveled pretty easily and ended up outdoors. Now I was close and finally, I started being worried. A quick look at my cell phone told me that I wasn't late but that I might have to rush a bit.

I walked with a forced step, going up the street. After few minutes, I arrived in front of the apartment. A four-story building, constructed in the haussmanian style with a cream-colored facade, finely decorated and with a slate top. For the price I was willing to put in the rent, this neighborhood seemed well above my modest means. I checked the address. Twice. I was in the right place, but I couldn't take out my mind that something was wrong.

I sighed, while going through the hall and climbing the stairs to the renting on the last floor.

What if the rent was too high after all? What if my profile wasn't good enough? I knew that the real estate market was really competitive and most of the time, almost ten people were fighting for the same one. From the well groomed businessman to the prestigious lawyer and to the modest student, everybody seemed to be destined to a brighter future than me. All I wanted was an opportunity. A chance.

I was exhausted from the climb and no longer confident but I kept going. Every step was harder than the previous one. While I was lost in my thoughts, I caught sight of the threshold. Only few meters separated me from the door.

 _'Who will open the door?'_ This final sentence echoed in my mind, making me feel like there was an ice-cold spike stuck in my chest, the pain fueling the fear and anxiety in my heart. The announcement was made for a roommate, with all the problems that it could induce, especially for me - as a shy yet tempered person. With what kind of people was I supposed to live with? A man? A woman? What if we couldn't get on well with each other?

I froze, terrified to be rejected again. Now what?

I stood still in silence. I just wanted to run away, my heart began to sink and tears came out of the corners of my eyes. I didn't need to check my phone, I knew I didn't have the time to hesitate any more. I had to make a choice. My mind was going crazy, trying to rid my mind of all these thoughts and feelings. In a last desperate fight with myself, I heard something strike to door. Before I realised it, my arm had moved by itself to knock on the door and I was hearing muffled footsteps. Someone was approaching. Well, I was fucked. I wanted to disappear but I couldn't move; it felt like I was paralysed.

Slowly, the door opened with a faintly sound and a man appeared. He was standing in front of me, leaning back against the doorframe. A bit taller than me and a lot more athletic. His face was slightly turned downwards, almost as if he was looking at the floor. I couldn't say if he was bored or tired but then, he crossed his arms. His pale skin contrasted with the dark colour of his shirt, his skin seemingly cutting into the precious fabric.

I couldn't say anything, but the main reason as to why I was speechless, was his silver hair, perfectly contouring the milky skin of his face and his magnificent icy-colored eyes. All of this features captivated me and I couldn't look away. At the same time, he was looking at me, like he was analyzing every piece of me as precisely as he could with his harsh, sharp gaze. I felt naked, and my cheeks started to blush.

It was the first time I saw Victor, but he was already able to wreck all my defenses.

"Who are you?" Victor said with his regular jaded look and his deep tone, continually staring at me. I was so impressed that I couldn't speak at first. But he insisted, paying a particular attention to my suitcase, turning back on me ;

"I'm sorry, I'm not interested, whatever you're selling." He was ready to close the door when I found my voice again.

"You're wrong. I'm…". He stopped, frowning his eyebrows with a cold gaze.

"I'm Katsuki Yuuri. I'm here for the roommate advertisement!" I said out loud, pulling the newspaper' announcement out of my pocket. He seemed surprised at first, but then he smirked, and I saw a sparkle of curiosity in his half-opened eyes, as he waved me to come in.

The place was spacious, nice, but simple and sombre. Maybe too sombre. It felt like this flat had never been occupied, but rather it felt like a cold showroom exposition.

He invited me to sit down on the living room's corner sofa and came back later with refreshments, sitting on the other corner. I began to fidget in my seat, mentally cursing at my uneasy nerves, until he handed me an iced-tea glass which I tentative accepted. I brought the glass up for a sit, and focused most of my energy on not falling apart in my seat. He was staring at me all this time, like he was enjoying the view. At some point, he broke this uncomfortable silence.

"I'm Victor Nikiforov. I'm the owner of this apartment, and I will also be your roommate." He said with a polite smile. I stayed silent and looked at him with side-open eyes. It felt like I had missed something. He didn't look a day over 24 and was already proprietor. How was this possible? Was he some kind of model or actor, with that body of his? ... But he didn't let me think about it and proceeded.

"Well, as you might know, the rent is about 350 euros/month. How do you plan to pay?" He spoke bluntly, almost brusquely but at least, the amount of the rent was still the same. I sighed from relief.

"My parents will send you the money at first, and I plan to quickly find a job, so I will be able to pay by myself then." I was speaking automatically, but I wasn't proud of the situation. The words just slipped from my mouth and I said the truth. But sadly the truth wasn't always the best answer.

I felt him slump on the couch, closing his eyes for a moment, then he argued with his impassive voice.

"You're not the only one to have come here. So, why should I choose you instead of anyone else?" I froze. Like I feared, finding apartment was just like a job interview and I had to prove my merit. I was thinking of something smart to say when suddenly Victor scooted closer to me, closing the gap between us.

"Entice me to do so" was all he said, but I registered how low his voice had gone. I blushed bright red from the closeness. I looked him in the eyes; they were a cold ice-blue with flecks of deep-sea blue. As expected, I was melting from his gaze. He was pushing me to my very limits, playing with my naive heart.

I really wanted to say something but the only words that were coming out of my mouth were stammered and awkward. Yet, I saw him approaching me again, I have no choice and shouted out loud ;

"I want to know the meaning of life!" He gazed at me, surprised "I want to discover real hard-work, fight for my opinions, take care of what really matters for me and…" Finally, my voice cracked. Yes, all of this was true. This town was where I wanted to begin my new life, to have a fresh start here.

He lifted his eyebrow, interested. Victor you vicious bastard, see what you have done to me!

I stopped so he stood up, going to a room on the left and coming back with a file that he put on the table in front of me.

"These are the documents I need to proceed. I will let you roam in this apartment and if you decide that you still want to live here, bring them back to me before Wednesday the 29th." I lifted my eyes to him, ready to ask for the details, but he added "I will not turn back so you can freely make your decision".

Just like he said, he walked to his room without turning back, leaving me alone to discover the apartment. It was huge, almost 900 square feet for the two of us, with a nice bathroom close to the entrance, and on the right corner of the living room, there was a fitted-kitchen as tidy as the rest. The only remaining part was a small hallway on the left with two doors. The first closed was Victor's room and the second was mine. It was not the biggest room, only spacious enough for the large bed and some free-space, but it was pretty. More than I could ever hope until now.

When I finished, I went out, clutching the bundle of papers next to me. As he didn't came back, I saluted Victor with a 'See you next week', my tone as determined as I could, but he only replied with a 'We'll see about that'.

The view was over, as was my first meeting with Victor.

* * *

Comments are highly appreciated, thanks! :D

I apologize for the typo that isn't always perfect but I'm not used to Fanfiction. If you perfer, go check on Archive Of Our Own that is easier for me to use.

Same Title (Like Fire Under the Ice), same author name (Major Gü).

See ya' :D


	3. Chapter 3, Yuuri

_It was barely two p.m and we were both hungry so Phichit lead me to a small café where we ordered lunch. I had so many things to tell him and ask him that I forgot everything about the flat. Meeting with him was the best part of the day, so I didn't want to waste any second talking about anything unpleasant._  
 _Many hours passed. We laughed loudly often so the waitress looked angrily at us more than once, but we didn't care. Phichit always had so outlandish stories that he never failed to surprise me._

 _After the twelfth selfie - I lost count - he turned to me mentioning my last viewing. I gulped, embarrassed and anxious, as I began twisting my hands under the table. I didn't know where to start, and I didn't want to talk to him about Victor._

* * *

Hi little pumpinks! How are you doing?  
I know I'm laaaate, but I have great news ; Chapter 4 will be updated on Wednesday the 6th or before if you're lucky!  
And I'm sooo excited to share it with you. It's my favorite until now and there will be figure skating competition involved.

Stay around, I'm sure you'll enjoy it :D

Many kisses and love,  
Major Gü ღ

\- Chapter 3. Yuuri -

 **2020, July 24**

I hurtled down the stairs, shivering a bit and breathing deeply in the open air. I was able to remember, but I wasn't sure if my vision was really blurry at this moment, or if I was mixing reality and memories. A minute later, every sign of angst was gone, and I was put back in this sunny street.

My legs were still shaky so I walked cautiously along the pavement, disturbed. No one could say that Victor wasn't a peculiar person, but in a way, I was fascinated and I needed to see him again. He acted like a perfect jerk, yet he was so mysterious, so close but also so far away from me. Even now, I couldn't figure out if he took the situation seriously at some points, or if he teased me for fun all long. I didn't know, and under these circumstances, only one was able to comfort me. I grabbed my phone and called Phichit. He picked up immediately, and I could feel the warmth in his voice as he greeted me over the phone, all smiles.

Phichit was my best friend and he knew everything about me, so he didn't took him more than few seconds to understand that something was wrong. I spoke about my apartment search, which, so far, was unsuccessful in the capital city.

"Where are you? I definitely want to see you!" he spoke. I totally forgot that Pichit moved in Paris a few years ago to study in a drama school and become an actor. I tried to describe him my position, but I wasn't really sure myself.

"You're very close to the theater where I am practicing! Keep walking to the ' _Charles de Gaulle - Etoile_ ' subway, I will meet you there."

It only took me a few minutes to reach the spot and thankfully, I found it easily. Phichit was waiting for me alongside a small group of person, as cheerful and energetic as I remembered. He really was a good person; always generous and warmhearted despite the distance which separate us. He gave me a welcoming hug and he introduced me to his theatre company, four people in total. All of them waved at me but we didn't speak much. It was barely 2 p.m and we were both hungry so Phichit lead me to a small café where we ordered lunch. I had so many things to tell him and ask him that I forgot everything about the flat. Meeting with him was the best part of the day, so I didn't want to waste any second talking about anything unpleasant.

Many hours passed. We laughed loudly often so the waitress looked angrily at us more than once, but we didn't care. Phichit always had so outlandish stories that he never failed to surprise me.

After the twelfth selfie - I lost count - he turned to me mentioning my last viewing. I gulped, embarrassed and anxious, as I began twisting my hands under the table. I didn't know where to start, and I didn't want to talk to him about Victor.

So, I just told him the whole story, avoiding Victor's words and attitude but I felt my face go red. Luckily, Phichit wasn't looking at me in that moment, too busy taking pictures of his infinitely large chocolate ice-cream to notice the blush. "That's fantastic!" he said, always positive. "Most agencies just rejected your profile because you were short in money but he gave you a chance. I'm sure everything will be fine! " I wasn't that optimistic but, I chose to trust him and tried to smile back to his happy face. I started to loosen up when he gazed at me with a deep serious look, facing me and adding "It's like he saw kind of interest in you..." I felt my face turn all red from my neck to the top of my ears.

"You stupid Thai!" I sweared with a shy smile, always flustered. "Keep your fantasy on a leash!" We were both giggling, once more, when seven p.m rang outside. It was already too late for me to take a train back and Phichit asked– no, begged to me, to come over to his place. I couldn't refuse him with his puppy eyes, so I quickly informed my parents and found myself out in the street, Phichit hanging on my arm.

We walked all the way to his flat - I didn't feel easy to take the subway too often - and soon, all the lights of the city turned on, one by one, like shining little stars in the dusk sky.

It was splendid.

After more than an hour roaming down the city, we arrived in front of an old building, and I followed him inside. Phichit lived in an attic room, as small as a shoebox, but it suited me. I was half exhausted, half excited to meet him again. But when we eat some noodles, I was fully nostalgic and I couldn't hold myself to talk about 'the good old times; when we were just children, dreaming about both of our future. At this time, we met in Hasetsu, in Kyushu, before my parents moved from Japan to France. It was more than ten years ago, but I could always recall Phichit's voice in my head ' _I will become the biggest actor in Thailand, and I will be able to make people laugh forever!'_. Of course, he was always far from his dream, but he had so much self-confidence that I envied him sometimes. Despite difficulties, he was always positive and knew how to take advantage of every situation. He definitely had nothing in common with me, but that was fine– As long as he was my friend, I would be happy.

We stayed awake until the middle of the night, evoking every memory we could remember and in a last burst of laugher, we fell asleep.

The weekend passed way too fast. I was continually stuck with Phichit- since he was always glued at me. We went to sleep late and slept in too. We ate strawberry ice cream, took more selfies than ever in places that Phichit wanted to explore with me, and watched, once more, ' _The King and the Skater_ '. The film which inspired him to become an actor, and obviously his favorite film.

I was very lucky to have grown up with him by my side, but now I was becoming an adult and I had to get a grip on myself. Become someone he could be proud of later. Be in his eyes someone as special as he was for me. So, during that sunday evening, I became serious and took a look at the rent folder– which I'd been avoiding, or just forgotten about– as if I'd forgot to do my homework.

Looking through the folder, most of the points were basic, so I already knew what they were about them, but one of the sheets got my attention. It was a list, nothing official but I recognised Victor's name at the end of it.

" _The ten unquestionable and inviolable rules of flat-sharing._ " I skimmed it quickly, only picking up few words. Don't smoke inside... Share the household chores… Respect each other and each other's private life… Take responsibility of your own stuff… No pets… Restricted party… Curfew at one a.m… Never have sexual relations inside of the apartment…

I almost choked at reading that, coughing hard and concerning Phichit, but I assured him everything was fine. I definitely didn't want him to read this. No, never.

Covering my red cheeks with palms, I read it again. What the hell does that mean? Was Victor serious about these rules? To ask such things were obviously outlawed and taboo weren't they? But in a way, I didn't really have a choice. This renting was one of the last of the school year. Find a job. Find an apartment. Soon, everything would become very difficult and I didn't want to go back to living with my parents. Even if Victor wrote such a provocative paper, I signed. In a way, I wasn't really concerned about all these rules– especially the last one I sighed.

Since everything was done now, I was kind of excited but anxious too. I wanted to face him again, to know what he had in mind. ' _Don't turn me back this time Victor. I'm coming_ '.

That night, I didn't sleep well and woke up early. Despite his cry of dissatisfaction, I pulled Phichit out of his bed in the middle of the morning and forced him to get ready.

"Come on, your rehearsals start at eleven a.m. You'll be late if you stay in bed!" He groaned something incoherently with his sleepy low voice.

"Yeahbutitstillmorninganditsholidaysand-" he grumbled, yawning. I shut his mouth with a piece of toast, helping him get dressed.

"Maybe, but you will not become the most famous actor by laying in bed!" Listening to me, I saw Phichit wake up in a jump, like if he was struck by lightning. I sighed. _Phichit, you're so predictable!_

While I was closing the entrance door, Phichit made me promise to come back as soon as possible. Indeed, I planned to see Victor this afternoon if he allowed me to. I was so eager to see him again and know his response. I had to believe in the few chances I had.

I turned around to see my friend and nodded with a light smile. It was hard for both of us to be separated, but we had to. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I waved him one last goodbye, and, once he disappeared at the street corner, I grabbed my phone and dialed Victor's number that was wrote on all those documents I signed.

As the ultimatum of our meeting was the next Wednesday, I had to let him know my intentions. As I felt a knot begin to form in my throat, I knew my voice would crack at any moment, so I opted out of the call, writing a text instead. No problem, texts are fine too.

The first text I wrote out, I deleted. Too strict. I typed a second, than a third, but they sounded too familiar and I wiped them too. _Calm down Yuuri, it's just a message, not a love letter._ But the more I tried, the more I failed. You can do it, breathe, and stop overthinking! I so wrote a last text and send it. I checked it once more and read: " _Hello, it's Katsuki Yuuri. Could I see you if you're available?_ " And then, it vanished. It was clear and not that friendly or serious. It was fine.

I waited almost fifteen minutes in a park, close to Phichit's flat, relaxing in the cool air, before I felt my phone vibrate. I unlocked it and read Victor's answer. "Hi, if you want to see me, let's meet at the skating rink. I'll send you the location in a bit." It didn't take long for me to receive the address, and I went directly to the indicated place.

In less than an hour, I stood in front of the structure. It was good-looking, but deserted. Of course, a lot of the shops were closed in summer, due to holidays or under construction, but this is where Victor asked me to come. I was lost. Shy and hesitant, I walked through the hall to discover the rink white and shiny under the sunrays. I never went in an ice center before so it was a lovely surprise for me. While I was watching on the rink, squinting my eyes to see better, I felt a shadow of a man appear across my back, then watched as it went down the stairs to the tiers. A old man was standing in front of me, with a gruffy face, eyebrows frowned. He looked at me with an upset expression and opened his mouth, but Victor interrupted him. Sliding from the center of the rink, the silver haired man joined us and explained the situation to his coach, who then began to relax a bit. At this moment, I got introduced to Yakov whose face warmed into a slight smile, but nothing more. With time, Yakov was still someone mysterious to me, but I could feel he had a kind heart under his angrily looks and upset comments. He was someone who cared and was concerned about Victor, and even if I always heard him yell at everyone, I knew it was for their own good.

After this meeting, Victor led me to the bar, and once we were settled, we were able to speak properly. "Nice to see you again" he started, visibly more cheerful than the first time I saw him. I needed time to answer him, I was too nervous, as hypnotized by his face and his eyes. An expression of true happiness catched on his face.

I prefered him like this and nodded, speechless. I could feel how he stared at me but he continued quickly "I'm sorry to asked you to come here. I was in a middle of practice when I get your message, and I couldn't escape Yakov's look to go home". I shake my head, saying it was okay. After more informal talk, we shared some documents about the flat renting. Hopefully, all the papers were in order, and I sighed in relief. Victor didn't express any reservations about me living with him. As if everything was settled long ago, even before I arrived. As if he had already read my mind from the beginning. I blushed from this thought but he proceed, cutting my daydreams short.

"Now that everything is officially settled, what did you planned for the time being?" He had lost his serious look and his eyes were even softer than before.

"Well, I'll probably go home for some days, pack my things and come back. I might order some new furniture for my room." My mind was still a bit overwhelmed about all of this, like it was unreal. Victor' stare faded and I felt how he perked up on his chair, looking for something in his coat.

"There is a good chance for me not to be home when you'll come back. You'll need those, roommate." While he spoke, he pulled a bunch of keys from his coat's pocket and gave them to me. They were mine. My keys now. He really anticipated all of this after all. I held a burst of laugh. I was just like Phichit wasn't I? Predictable.

As I stayed silent, my thoughts wandered, I saw Victor reach the rink with a smirk, assaulted by Yakov's negative comments for his 'too long break'. I've found an apartment. At last. Everything had been so quick that I didn't realize it and now, it hit me like a wave, but it was okay. Even if I always had a lot of work to do, everything will be fine now. Everything will be fine because of you. Thank you Victor, from the bottom of my heart.

* * *

Once again, a huge Thanks to my beta-readers;  
▶ SomeStoryWriter ( ) to always support me  
▶ SailorChibiMidnight (A3O & ) to perfects my work so well

Kudos and comments are highly appreciated, thanks ღ


	4. Chapter 4, Yuuri

"Ne t'inquiète pas (don't worry)" he murmured, putting his skate-protectors in my hand. "Aussi longtemps que tu ne regarderas que moi, je ne tomberai pas (As long as you will only watch me, I won't fall)". He slid, giving us one last wink as he reached the center of the ice.

* * *

Hi my little cinnamon rolls !  
As said, I didn't posted the 4th Chapter on time u u  
I'm not very proud!  
The reason I won't be able to post on Saturday as usual is because I'll work on the Japan Expo event (our French version of comic con) so, I'll basically be busy for the 4 days in coming. Is it something you've already done (working/visiting) a comic con?  
Let me know in comments!

I hope this chapter will please you once again and I'm sorry about the typo issues  
With all my love, Major Gü ღ

.

\- Chapter 4. Yuuri -

 **2020, November 6**

I woke up with a start, as pain shot right through my body, causing me to be unable to open my eyes. My left side was burning, poisoning every part of my body like acid through my veins, like an unstoppable infection, a venom that drove me crazy. I could feel how it as it spread through my chest, like a thousand of pieces shrapnel in my muscles and organs from that spot. I could feel how my heartbeats were pulsating through my skin and how my heart was about to explode literally.

My brain was hazy and I couldn't do anything, but suffer more and more. From what I mistook for as an annoying buzz in my ears at first, now I could clearly tell it as my own panting as the pain get worse. I whined. I whined from agony, until I could barely recognize my own deformed voice. I shook my hands in a desperate motion along the mattress. Maybe if I could reach someone, maybe if I could make a sign, tell them how bad I was, maybe it would stop. But all I was able was clutching the sheets in vain. My entire body shivered uncontrollably. I couldn't help but arch my back against the mattress because of the extreme pain. My body no longer felt like my own as intense spasms flowed throughout. The heat was everywhere, ripping all of my abdomen into painful pieces, and driving my mind crazy. I couldn't hear. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even breath properly, and I was just too afraid to die in those circumstances.

As an answer to my fears and shuddering, a hand reach the edge of my face and hold my cheeks firmly between their palms. They were cool, probably because of my fevering state, but soft despite the situation. _He_ spoke with a calm but deep tone, aware of my chaotic state but ordering me even though. "Yuri, calm down, you will not die here - Not in the hospital I work in - Not under my responsibility - Not without a fight!". I didn't know why _his_ voice was so high-strung, but with the few pauses he made, I was able to understand some words, even in my condition.

I knew my body wouldn't be able to withstand much more, but I wanted to fight, or at least, to try.

I wasn't still able to process everything, but I could figure out how now, many people were around me, bustling like a fucking assembly, talking about the procedure to follow, and about what will happen to me. I was definitely out of breath and gasping, but soon, I heard the room get quieter and I could guess that they had take a decision.

In the same gesture, someone removed my pillow, and pulled off the blanket. Victor's hands had left my skin, causing me to become even more terrified.

Having him on my side made the situation a little bit more bearable and I was desperate, urging, craving for that touch. If could, I'll be about to cry and beg for him but he didn't let me time for that ; Victor placed a gentle kiss on my sweaty forehead, I could feel tears drip from the corner of my eyes because of that sweet motion. He was muttering almost inaudibly kind words in my ear, giving me the small bit of hope that everything would be okay in the end. "This isn't advice. This is a promise."

I could feel the unwillingness in him, as he began to stand up and leave my side. I began to panic even more once I felt the strong touch of the medical staff around me. _'_ _Please Victor, don't leave me! Don't leave me alone'_ I silently pleaded, hoping for him to hear me but no sound could come out my dry mouth. I couldn't do anything, just let silent tears stream down my face while the bed moved carefully. I was drowning slowly into darkness and I knew soon, every thought, every sensation would eventually die out, and disappear, as my mind began turn off. Only few seconds left of consciousness before black. Just enough to hear, heavy steps resonating and a voice behind me. _His_ voice.

 _'_ _This isn't a farewell, is it?'_

 _._

 **2020, October 31**

Three months passed since I moved in the apartment. It was weird at first, sharing my space and quite everything with a stranger, but I never regretted my choice. Victor was kind with me and attentive, always trying to do his best about the housework, despite his incredible schedule. He always forgive me about my terrible meals, my lacks of cleaning, and my bad habit to turn everything messy. Furthermore, he wasn't excessive and really cared about privacy, something that I really appreciate, even if he can be really curious.

After all, I think we just 'got used' to each other. I found a job with his advice in a really nice bakery, working hard but never complaining ; I was very thankful for the two old bakers who took me under their wings and gave me the opportunity to prove my worth. Every new task challenged me and my lack of confidence, but it was rewarding, nonetheless. Finally, I felt alive.

On Victor's side, studies started in early August, and he was able to train a bit at the skating rink on his free-time. In a way, life went back to normal but today was a special day. He was participating to the biannual competition organized by Yakov in the evening.

Since I knew he didn't really had time to practice, I asked him if it was fine to be part of it. He answered me his regular perfect smile, that he was skating for pleasure and that it wasn't a big deal for him to participate. As a former trainer, Yakov thought that he ruined his chances to become a pro-skater but he didn't care. Despite only coming to the ice rink a few times, it was obvious to tell that the ice was his sanctuary, and it didn't seem to matter to him to kick some children's asses twice a year in a long-program demonstration. Even if he wasn't serious.

Victor was warming up when I and Chris reached the boundary of the ring, deep in a conversation with each other. He waved at us, and we waved back. He seemed glad that I met his best friend and moreover that we could get along with each other. Sometimes Chris could have some extravagant 'manners', maybe too 'tactile' compared to my shy temperament, but, most of the time, it was fine. From that point, Victor seemed happy to see us talk without hesitation.

He did few more jumps and slided to us. Chris was looking at him with shining eyes, staring at his outfit.

"Je suis si heureux, ça te va parfaitement!" he said, meaning "I'm so happy it perfectly suits you!"

Chris was a student in a 'Haute Couture' school, and since the first time he met Victor at the ice center, he asked him to be the creator of his outfits. Victor told me how he was reluctant at first, but how he was finally able to see Chris' sensitivity when he felt the music deeply. More than once, Chris had showed him how he was able to understand the topic of his dance accurately within the first sounds, that in the end, Victor allowed him to make all of his outfits ; mixing fabrics and materials in order to match all of his skating-themes.

"Attends de me voir sur la glace" (wait to see me on the ice) he responded with a smirk. Until now, he was still wearing a jacket that covered his upper-half, and only his bottom part was visible. I didn't said a word, as I looked all around the features and the preparations for the tournament. All the room was fussing from the audience to the five jury members, too restless to sit down at the moment. But when the the commentator, a mid-adult man, started his speech, all the agitation fade away and it amazed me even more.

Victor was the last one on the list, so he stayed with us for some time, watching others' performances. Of course, none of them were professional skaters, but Yakov cared about the form, insisting upon the fact that it was stimulating.

Six Competitors from different skating schools already did their show the ice rink; all of their presentations were honourable, but in the end, no one really impressed me, like if something was missing. I hadn't been around ice skating for long, but even I was able to tell how some were forced to skate, and some did it for the shear goal of winning and finally, I never saw any enjoyment in their program. Well, that was pretty over. Just one more left, until it's Victor's turn.

He looked a bit bored and ready to do more stretchings when the commentator made an announcement with his high pitched, almost strident voice his hoarsy but squealing voice ; "Next candidate, Yuri Plisetsky!"

I saw a young blond boy on the border of the rink slide to the center in one move. He was determined, and Victor saw it too. I could feel his excitement. He had something different, and I couldn't took my eye off of him.

The music started and immediately, everybody held their breath. "Plisetsky's theme this year is about battle, I hope it will bring him strength for his program...". This little guy was stunning. His moves matched perfectly the music, and even if he only looked upset, I could see he enjoyed every second. "Quadruple salchow, triple loop jump even a combination that he perfectly landed, he set high standards and it's only the beginning!" The boy was now in a hard sequence of steps including spirals in a half-Biellmann position; his skinny legs and arms, straight as blades like trying to cut the air, fighting the entire word in his ruby red outfit. Spinning to escape the death, jumping from battle to battle, a smouldering look on the eyes. "Triple toe loop... Waltz jump and a triple flip jump! Will he ever stoooops?!" I was shaking Victor's arm at every jump, too tensed by the young skater's complex figures, fearing a crash that hopefully never happened. "And… Yes! he managed his triple lutz jump as well with a very neat entrance!" But, as the song softened, the boy got a bit subtler in his steps and rotations, panting and without stamina. I was able to relax as the song finally ended, and the public gave a standing ovation, still completely awed-struck. Obviously, it was an interesting performance, but I could feel anger was his main feeling, not fight. Pure rage, and I was excited to see him in some other subtler theme, just as Victor was.

"What a spectacular show! Ladies and Gentlemen, it was Yuuuuuuuri Plisetsky! This boy will do a sensational entrance in pro-skating! Don't you think?!" Ask the presenter to the tribune, until the called boy saluted the crowd, and slid to the exit where Victor stood. "Yeah, I'll definitely keep an eye on him. Now let's see his score, according to our jury… 156.74, that's a really good one, and he obviously get the first place for the moment, will he keep it until the laaaast?!"

The boy was now staring at Victor from the kiss and cry bench, with a half pretentious, half curious gaze. Was he _defying_ him? As Victor smiled widely to him, I know he agreed the challenge, and got even more interested in the competition.

He turn over and blinked, focusing on his body and breathing deeply. Slowly, he removed the sweater on his shoulders, revealing his blue suit; his pants were made in a dark navy blue velvet, sprinkled by some light jewels running on his waist, and ascending on his left side were a few stars, while his right side was embellished with a thinner and lighter free fabric, flowing down his arm. Chris and I were standing on the above of the rink, when the commentator called his name.

"Ne t'inquiète pas (don't worry)" he murmured, putting his skate-protectors in my hand. "Aussi longtemps que tu ne regarderas que moi, je ne tomberai pas (As long as you will only watch me, I won't fall)". He slid, giving us one last wink as he reached the center of the ice.

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Igor Stravinsky - Firebird (VII Final) - (youtube : L'oiseau de Feu . wmv [6'14''])

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The music began. "This year, Victor Nikiforov is skating on the final piece of ' _Firebird'_ from Igor Stravinsky, on the theme of ' _Nature_ '. I can't wait to see it!" The firsts notes floated in the air, but despite the public's murmurs, he was composed; moving slowly like he was exalting every sensation to stand on the ice, as simple as that. I could see how he enjoyed the cold air against his face. Playing with the warm ghost of mist from his breath and struggling to restrain the energy pulsating through his veins. After few shy steps, he started his introduction, swaying forward and backward, like a warm-up routine. "Triple toe loop and now triple lutz!"

I knew the aim of the song, and Victor was perfectly playing it. Like the early day nature, he seemed lazy and slow, following the first part of the song with his gesture. Even a bit sad just like the dew that flowed down leafs like morning tears. He was sliding gently, softly, and I could say it was one of his dedicated moments, almost as if time could stop, just for him. It was obvious these instants were able to make him forget about every bad side of healed him. Everyone was silent; completely captivated by the moving piece of art in front of them.

In a rush, the commentator's voice cracked again, a massive smile appearing on his face. "Wait, did he plan to manage the five other jumps in the second paaart?!" He shouted too excited.

As soon as the violins get crescendo and played with the wind instruments in a perfect harmony, I knew it was his moment. Increasing his speed, he took an impulsion and jump into the air as he was rebirthing under our watch. "Quadruple loop jump followed by a triple flip jump combination perfectly executeeeeed! No one could ever stop him now!"

No, no one can even touch him because it's Victor, and Victor loves challenges and, most of all, he loves to surprise people. He was like this unstoppable force of nature, creating breath-taking landscapes from dust, and giving life to massive forests from a simple seed. He was like the torrents of the rivers, and this flood life was his second part. While the commentator described his moves, he opened widely his arms, embracing every sensation on his skin that wasn't covered by the blue muslin fabric.

Proud, and shiny, that was the overview of nature he wanted to give. "He's preparing for another jump! It's a triple axel! A motherfu- That's incredible!" the voices yelled, commenting on his pose. "The landing was great, and now he's honoring us with his both arms spreads without any doubt, like a royal figure"

Like the life-saving rain, he was enticing the crowd through the ice all the pure happiness he had inside. Sharing it with the crowd as if his energy could healed them in return. "And the last combination; a triple salchow and a quadruple lutz jump! That's a-ma-zing! He landed all his jumps and now he is spinning so easily!" I could feel his warmth and the enjoyment in the air. People were holding their breath in suspense, but he reached his limits. After the camel spin, he did a shoot the duck spin and finally an upright spin. He couldn't hold anymore but, before I realize it, the music got softer, both of his arms raised to the sun, and then folded into his chest. Finally, it was over.

It took him time to catch his breath and look at the crowd again. After an arena stillness, the tribune applauded, and some shouted deafening to him; still confused, he was only able to smile, waving at last, before exiting the rink where Chris and I waited for him. He hugged both of us, legs shaking and a bit fatigued. He was breathing heavily, waiting on the kiss and cry bench. "That's a perfect! Once more, Victor Nikiforov gave us an increeedible show on ice. What about the score, according to our judges… 176.52! That's very close of these pro-skaters can aim for! And he gets first place of course, Yuri Plisetsky gets second and Dominic Marin gets third place! What a wonderful night for figure-skaating!" he ended with a joyful echo.

Chris and I were very happy for him, and couldn't help but cheer for him as he reached the center of the rink with the two other finalists; the impressive crown of blue roses made by Chris proudly exposed on his head. They saluted the mob once more while receiving their medals. Victor couldn't hold a smile despite his tiredness.

A few moments after, Yakov joined us, reminding him that he he could have done a better program if he had chose skating over medicine. I didn't know the former for long, but over all those criticisms, I could hear how he was admitting Victor's performance was great .

Yakov looked deathly grave as always, but Victor didn't take it seriously, so the former-trainer left him in peace with a shrug. Unexpectedly, he had to 'talk' to the presenter. The poor man, apparently too passionate to hold back his unprofessional comments got scolded, just like Victor, but happily, he wasn't very saddened by it.

Victor shook some hands, drunk to his victory at least three times, and before I knew it, the champagne I was drinking took over me and I had to sit down for a moment, taking a break, with Chris, isolated in a recess while Victor stole the spotlight. None of us were able to hold a conversation properly at this time - even to stay still - but once again, Victor seemed to be perfectly fine, as he floated around the party, sharing some kind words, and waving at some people until they cross the main door. We were both tipsy and were giggling for no reason when Victor came to meet us. He seemed exhausted due to his performance, but happily, the competition was near to the end and people were already leaving the center. Victor sighed in relief, back set down the wall behind us. He was staring at us with a soft look, amused, when Plisetsky appeared from nowhere to grab Victor's collar, ready to punch him at any moment with his furious look. ' _Wait! What?!'_ The punk was smaller than Victor, but had act so fast and wildly that I was sure he could be a pain in the ass if he started to fight with Victor.

"Retire _starik_ , you're too old for those school competitions. Or, maybe you can only enjoy to playing in some kid's sandbox?" Yuri's voice was quiet, and even if I couldn't understand what he said in Russian, his tone exposed the fact that he intended to hurt Victor with his sharpened words.I was scared, but I couldn't understand why he was asking - no, ordering Victor something like that. After a moment of shock passed, Victor's light smile, which was always plastered on his face, turned into a mocking smirk. In a way, he was right. Victor was definitely too good for those amateur tournaments, but he couldn't let being walked all over by a brat and answered with the softest voice he was able to. Victor bent over and fixated his gaze to the teen's, whispering in his ear tauntingly.

" _Hé bien, la jalousie ne t'a pas apporté la médaille d'or, mais j'imagine que c'est une sorte de promesse. J'espère que tu deviendras vite plus fort que moi..._ " (Well, jealousy didn't bring you the gold medal, but I guess it's kind of a promise. I hope you'll beat me quickly…). Taking some distance, Yuri did some steps back, dealing Victor's challenge with an upset mark of the chin, pouting before disappearing into the night through the main door.

I thought I couldn't be more surprised, but this was only the first part of the night.

.

* * *

Once again, a huge Thanks to my beta-readers;  
▶ SomeStoryWriter ( ) to always support me  
▶ SailorChibiMidnight (A3O & ) to perfects my work so well

Kudos and comments are highly appreciated, thanks a lot! ღ


	5. Chapter 5, Yuuri

_We stay so still until the sun was completely waking up. It was like it could end this short nightmare. As if the shining rays and the light breeze could wash it away. As if the pastels colors' of the sky can took it away like old memories. As everything was nothing more than an illusion. As if its marks could vanish in the wind. But reality learned me that they couldn't._

 _._

How to say that I didn't forget you ?  
I know it's been around a month since the last update and I'm deadly sorry for that. Ｔ▽Ｔ  
I'm feeling so bad that I'm speechless but it's true ; I don't want to give up on this story as long as you'll appreciate it.  
I wanted to post this chapter at least three weeks ago, but my bêta reader and I were really busy and couldn't see each other often to improve this chapter.  
Even now, the chapter still has imperfections, but I'll work on it and try to fix them as soon as possible.

Always a huge thanks to **SomeStoryWriter** ( ) and **SailorChibiMidnight** (A3O & ).  
Take a look at their work, those girls surely know how to write good stories! :D

But for now, let's enjoy the story!  
With all my love, Major Gü ღ

.

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 **\- Chapter 5. Yuuri -**

 **2020, November 1st**

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Victor, Chris and I were all completely wasted with our faces laying on top of the bar counter.

I had the vague memory of Yakov allowing us to stay the night. He had treated Victor not like his child, but in a familial way nonetheless, and once more, had given him the keys to the ice center. Ah, God bless this old man. My mind was spinning; my entire body ached horribly, and my heavy head, despite whatever I tried to do, stayed pinned to the counter, like dead weight.

I was drifting in and out of sleep when I saw Victor grab Chris' arm for a closer look at his watch. Even in the dark, I noticed how Victor needed to squint to focus on the little hands of the clock. After a second or two, he mumbled something like, 'It's five fucking thirty in the morning'. That explained Victor's miserable voice as he swore, and why I felt so tired if we really had partied hard.

Despite the surrounding silence in the empty skating rink, I could hear voices outside, just some sputters giving me and the others reassurance that dawn was close. Hearing it too, Victor decided to wake Chris and I up before we completely spent the night on those bar stools. Chris sighed, and raised his head eventually, but I couldn't do the same since I was way too sleepy to move.

I couldn't see well, because of the turned off lights, but I had the impression Victor was staring at me from behind. With my black hair hanging in wild strands all over my face, I must've looked pathetic, laying without any composure. For a reason I couldn't get, he seemed to like it. Maybe he was teasing me again, but I couldn't bother to fight back and just let it go.

"Yuuri..." His voice was sweet, asking me to wake up in a murmur. He leaned down closer to my head, which was currently in between my arms, causing shivers down my spine as I felt his warm breath on the back of my neck. ' _Jeez, stop that!'_

I couldn't help but gulp when I felt the heat of his lips only a few inches from the naked skin of my nape.

He called me again, but with a more lustful tone, as if he moaned my name.

"Yuuri~". Slowly, he turned me around, wrapping my hands around his neck as he pulled me up. Of course, I had a bad hangover and was, as expected, too dizzy to stay standing. Almost immediately, I nearly fell on Victor, finding refuge against his chest.

"Whoa!" It took me a couple of seconds to regain my balance, while Victor waited patiently, bending over me. I wanted to apologise, but my thoughts were confused and the words were stuck in my mouth. Slowly, I raised my head, our faces were close. His lovely blue eyes met mine with insistence, scrutinizing my look deeply as I did the same, his long eyelashes brushing softly his cheeks in every blink. I know it only lasted few seconds, but it was like time had stopped. ' _No, don't look away'_. I couldn't read his eyes properly, because I didn't have my glasses, but he seemed concerned by what I could see. Sloppy as I was, I tried to reach his face with my fingertips, cupping his jaws, and leaving faint blush marks on his cheeks with my thumbs. _His eyes_. His eyes were like a pure blue sky, without clouds, without worries. I knew that the color of light eyes could change a bit, without real reason, but I wanted to know more about it. This precious hidden part of him. I needed to approach and dive into them. ' _Victor, tell me...'_

His sweet fragrance was floating in the air like a heady scent which nearly made me fall over again. I was helpless, unable to recede him or move, and I could feel my heartbeat pounding loudly against my chest, but I couldn't say if it was mine or his. ' _...tell me...'_

I opened my mouth, lips parted to speak, but didn't know if I actually planned on saying something. My mind was so blurry at this point, overwhelmed by the sudden sensation of his eyes deeply lost in mine. All I could feel was my body, melting from his gaze and the hot air between our lips, few inches from each other, about to join in a kiss...

Suddenly the door bursted open, and Chris appeared, back from outside, his phone in his hand, and all the magic was gone. I had _completely_ forgotten about him!

I stumbled and Victor held me by the waist, pulling me to his side, making it so we were unable to face each other for now.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked, visibly worried. I was still close to Victor, who also seemed pale, so I wasn't sure which of us Chris was speaking to. Maybe both.

"It's nothing" Victor said, as confident as always. "Fresh air will make us feel better."

Chris was clever, but with the side-effects of alcohol, it was, luckily, impossible to evaluate if one of us was lying or not. "Taxi will be there in a minute" he responded, joining us and helping me put my coat on and search for my glasses.

We pushed open the doors of the main entrance, leaving the ice rink like people had done many hours ago and walked to reach the main avenue. As expected, the cold wind was refreshing and helped me to sober up. The sky was still dark, but little by little, I could see how it got brighter, colored with some yellow, orange and pink touches. Dawn was creeping up on us.

We followed the road, Victor still by my side when the driver found us. Chris jumped immediately into the taxi, taxi, but a wave of nausea hit me at the thought of riding in a car; I began making warning hand signals, letting them know taking a car was out of the question, as I focused all my efforts in not vomiting, letting them know that taking a car back wasn't conceivable.

"Go for it. We'll walk until he feels better" Victor said. Agreeing, Chris waved at us and closed the car door. Then, everything became silent again, as the taxi drove away.

I took deep breaths, and my nausea decreased. I was so tired. Usually, a walk in the cold of autumn didn't bother me, but now I couldn't help but shiver. This didn't make it easier for me to put one foot in front of the other. It was impossible for Victor not to notice, so he pressed me tighter against his side, holding my waist even more firmly.

"I'm sorry," I spoke after a moment, an ashamed tone in my voice. Apparently, I was able to speak now, but the fact he didn't answer immediately frighten me a bit ; I was aware that because of me, he renounce on taking a taxi back, walking along and carrying me all the way thus far. It probably wasn't fun for him but, as I was already punished by my dizzy state, I hoped he wouldn't scold me too much for now.

"Well, don't drink more than me next time". He spoke with a smirk, and I raised my head a bit. He didn't look mad at least, so I nodded without a word. The cold weather already enveloped our faces, and I could feel how my nose, cheeks and upper-ears were turning bright red. In this situation, I just felt like a child but I needed his support. That was my burden.

After a few more minutes, we entered a park. Although, it wasn't the prettiest of parks, with winter approaching, it still offered a panoramic view of the city further down. Immediately, I released Victor's grasp and walked forward. Admiring the urban landscape, I couldn't help but felt amazed. I loved the way the capital seemed to 'rise from the earth' at some places, with parks and green squares. How little rural streets stood alongside the big boulevards, how old structures were fighting with the modern buildings. And how several epochs were mixed in the same overview, bathed in the sweet and warm lights of street lamps. How the fairy lights were running on the top of Parisians' bars like actual fairies.

I stayed hypnotised there for some few minutes until I heard several voices, pulling me out of my reveries.

Further away, a loud talk between a group of men was resonating. There were six of them altogether, roaring with laughter. I don't know if it was because of the alcoholic scent in the air or because of the new cool breeze, but Victor seemed to have a bad feeling. He reached my spot in few steps and asked me to leave. Something that I agreed of with a sign of my head.

My steps were a little bit more confident now, but I was grateful for Victor's discreet hand in my back, following my chaotic movements. After a few meters, we passed by the first four people with ease, but the final two were a different story. All of them were kind of punk, but the last two seemed different, maybe even more drunk than the others. They were stumbling at every step, arm in arm, and stopped a few meters away from us, bending over each other and murmuring, like teenagers who were plotting to do something. But, I didn't really care, as we were almost at the end of the park and I'd never see those weird people again.

 _First mistake_.

"Hey, little fairy with your flower crown, Halloween is over!" One of the guys taunted, his friend hanging on his sweater, laughing.

I didn't understand at first. I looked at myself, but I didn't get a clue. Oh crap, that's true, yesterday evening had been Halloween night, and even if Victor wasn't wearing his outfit, the wreath was still on his head. I turned my head to face him but couldn't say a word, disconcerted.

 _Second mistake._

"Come on, don't be shy, show us your magic tricks!"

Victor's smile had faded, serious and grave now, but he didn't stop walking and I could easily guess that the two guys were following us. I took a look, just to be sure, but Victor pressed me harder in the back to keep me going.

 _Third mistake, and now it was too late to reverse._

As soon as the skinny one took some kind of interest in my attitude - the click he was looking for - he reached us in a hurry. How stupid could I have been to think that no one would hurt me on purpose? How could I've believed in this innocent thought that people couldn't hate you at first sight and would do bad things to you just for fun? That they could break you into pieces just because they wanted to?

I was shivering, feeling sick again.

"Or maybe you want to introduce us to your girlfriend?" The man's voice now had something definitely twisted, like a flash of sadism, and I got really scared, even disgusted. How? How could this be possible? I couldn't understand, but it was happening nonetheless. Before I could react, he grabbed my arm roughly and pushed me even harder against him, releasing me from Victor's touch.

I felt weak and turned my face away. The man was barely my height, yet he inspired me assertiveness, his stature changing as his muscles tensed, an expected power emanating from him against all odds.

His breath was feral with the powerful smell of hard liquor. Something you couldn't reasonably want to drink even after a large amount of booze. I wanted to move but I couldn't, the noose of his grip tightening every second, and I stood there, paralyzed, as he started a funny game with my soul in return.

Now that I was able to take a closer look at him, I was even more terrified by his facial features; he looked like a junkie on a high, overexcited as his dark pupils went up and down sporadically, scanning me from head to toes.

He let his fingertips play in the air, a few inches from my skin, barely touching my hair with his mud-encrusted fingernails. I tried to stay away as I could from his frantic gaze, I swear I tried, but when I looked out of the corner of my eye his nicotine stained lips curl up into a primal smile, I struggled hard. Judging by the way this man looked moth-eaten from head to toes, he had few to lost in the battle and that was probably the worst of it.

It was the distraction Victor had eagerly awaited to kick him in the knee, making the guy fall and grumble in pain away from me.

At the same time, the second man, less confident, joined us and looked at his friend with horrified eyes. Victor turned around and put me behind his back for safekeeping. Then, one thing happened after another, the new arrival tried to hit him with a punch, but Victor dodged without it difficulty, blocking the fist in a simple movement of the palm, before pinning him on the ground within a second, a thump to his throat. The man coughed and fell on his ass, out of breath.

"Yuuri, maintain him, pull his arms behind his back!". It were Victor's firsts words since what felt like a lot of time and it took me a while to understand what he meant. His tone was clearly ordering me and I proceeded to the best my shivering body could.

Someone once told me animals forced into a corner are the most dangerous ones; they have nothing left to lose by struggling, and I had a perfect example of that right in front of me. With a kind of desperate look, the tiny man got a knife out of his pocket and pointed it in Victor's direction. ' _Why? Why did it all have to end like this?'_ I couldn't help but hold my breath, heart skipping a beat as the man leaped forward to hit him. Victor's face wasn't impassive anymore, his eyes afire by some intense rage. In a split second, he shot the knife away into the grass with his feet and captured the disarmed man before pinning him on the ground like the previous one. He could put a stop/ put an end to this right away, but those guys really messed around him and it visibly turned into a personal vengeance.

Slowly but deliberately, he pulled the man's hands behind his back and started to push him towards the ground with his foot. The man, still surprised, didn't get it at first, but with the increase of pressure, the pain hit him and he understood, panicking. His groans turned into feared screams and supplications the more his shoulders got stretched. The guy was surrendering, and even if he had initiated all of this, I couldn't bare to see him to suffer more.

"Victor, it's enough!" I tried to scream, but my voice was too weak and cracked, and it just sounded like a mouse's noise. His face said it all, but he had to express it nevertheless, as he was searching for something more. A reason.

"Beg!" Victor snapped at the man. "Ask for forgiveness for the hurt you were about to cause!"

But even if the man wanted to say so, he couldn't, with tears running all over his miserable face and still panting. Victor's grasp intensified again, and it was more than I could handle. Most of the people may say that it's a weakness, not being able to fight at this moment, or at least, agree to be protected. But not like that. Perhaps I was fearful, not as brave as I should be and definitely a naive person with my ability to be astonished by the smallest things, but at that time, I was the one able to forgive. I was the one who would end this.

"Victor, stop! If you continue, you'll break both of his arms!" This time I shouted out loud and he froze. His eyes lost their furiousness, their anger, and they became softer. He didn't pronounce a single word and released the poor guy, who quickly stood and scrambled away immediately, holding his shoulders as if it could ease the pain. His friend, still silent in my arms, struggled quickly and gave me a hit with his elbow before flying into the dark. The stoke wasn't that terrible but took my breath away nonetheless. I stayed like that, hunched over until I caught my breath again. Victor looked tired, half ashamed of his acts, half worried about me, his look lost somewhere, silent for a moment. He raised his hand and I shiver a bit. I wasn't afraid but my body just needed to protect itself. Just to be alone for a time, without anyone's touch.

We stay so still until the sun was completely waking up. It was like it could end this short nightmare. As if the shining rays and the light breeze could wash it away. As if the pastels colors' of the sky can took it away like old memories. As everything was nothing more than an illusion. As if its marks could vanish in the wind. But reality learned me that they couldn't.

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* * *

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Finally the first chapter makes sense, but did you expected that?

I really enjoyed to right how they first almost kissed and then how Yuuri got to see a darker side of Viktor. I personnaly love those kind of sweet and bitter touches that make you melt and feeling worried, that make you waiting in anticipation but at the same time that froze you in doubt...  
Either way, this was a glitch in their relationship but, are you ready for the further consequences?

Kudos and comments are highly appreciated, thanks ღ


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